Brace Yourselves – Steam Holiday Sale is Coming

It’s that time of year again. Of course I’m not talking about Christmas, no, I’m talking about the Steam Holiday sale. Never before have I known an event to cause such equal parts joy and dread in the gaming community. Now when you see good games like Dungeons of Dredmor going for for say, $1.88 you may find it easy to understand the joy part, but how in the world could anyone expect dread? Because the prices are so low gamers feel almost compelled to buy them. Only a $0.99 crack rock special could evoke a more frenzied consumer. When the entire sale is done all of us will find our wallets lighter, caught up in the sheer game buying orgy. So, be careful, try not to buy to much, and remember… a lot of these games come back even cheaper the next day or at the end of the sale.

That’s how they get’cha.

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The Misadventures of the USS Mountain Dew – Mission 3

So this is the third and so far final mission for the USS Mountain Dew B. As you will recall the USS Mountain Dew was lost in space. The fate of the USS Mountain Dew A is unknown because the flight recorder was lost AKA we screwed up the FRAPS recording for the main screen.

In something slightly related I and my friends have since gotten the full version and had a chance to play it. Let me tell you that the full version of Artemis is much better than the demo. The demo is already fun but it’s limited. When you get the full version you got a large variety of enemy ships all with different strengths and weaknesses. You get a sector filled with nebula, asteroids, minefields, black holes, anomalies, and space monsters. The extra stations also really change the dynamic as far as how the bridge works.

I’d do a video for full version, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t be as fun to watch because we actually know what we’re doing now.

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The Misadventures of the USS Mountain Dew – Mission 1

Recently at Tower of Games I had the opportunity to try out Artemis Spaceship Bridge Simulator at Tower of Games. We played the game on three laptops with the mainscreen laptop hooked up to a 42″ HDTV. And in a shameless bit for publicity we filmed it. As you can see from the video, we had a lot of fun doing this. Mission 3 will be coming soon. There is no Mission 2.

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Avatar 2: Nukes from Space!

Admit it, you thought this too

So after everyone else on the planet has seen it I finally got around to seeing Avatar. What took me so long? Well there was that whole eye surgery thing that made me not want to goto movie theaters for a while. Then by the time I was in a state where I wasn’t constantly dropping drops in my eyes, or worried that the 3D would destroy my vision forever the movie was trapped in that limbo between the time between it’s in first run theaters and cheap theaters. So this week I spent a whopping $1 to see Avatar and $5 on a large soda and a large popcorn and settled down to watch the darn thing.

And you know what it was good and enjoyable. I liked watching it, it was fun, the visuals were stunning, the characters were interesting, and it told a pretty classic story. So all in all the movie was great. A+

But like a lot of other movies sometimes things just really glare out at you if you really start thinking about them. Like why not just drop bombs on the magical Yggdrasil stand-in tree from space? Does the future not have unmanned drones anymore? I mean they have unmanned blue people! Why not just use systems like the avatars to pilot a hordes of killer drones?! When that giant aboriginal horde is gathering, why not just dig in and plant land mines, etc. Maybe evac non-essential personnel off the rock first. That plan seems a lot more sound then, “Fly into the super-Bermuda triangle beneath the giant ambush rocks.” Why fly under the giant ambush rocks? Those things they were piloting are VTOLs! Fly over the bloody ambush rocks and /then/ descend. I’m pretty sure their vehicles with pressurized cockpits can fly higher than a bird can. Heck maybe just drop the bomb from that height to begin with! Why do the Navi’s arrows just bounce off their vehicles in one scene yet in a later at the climax of the film they punch through them like paper. For that matter why is anyone in the future making cockpit glass for military gunships out of glass weaker than today’s bullet-proof glass? And why in the hell wouldn’t the sequel be called, “Avatar 2: Nukes from Space”? You know that nine years later when the survivors get back to earth their response won’t be pretty.

Oh yeah, that’s assuming you ignore the fact that they have the only people dealing with the Navi under such little surveillance that they can so easily go off the reservation. Or why in the heck they can’t just dig a tunnel under the ground to the Unobtanium site and just mine it from there.* (I still can barely believe they really called it Unobtanium.) Nevermind that, there’s got to be other sites of the mineral somewhere on the planet that would be better to mine first before they start sinking their profits into a native extermination campaign.

Anyway, it’s a good movie. Just don’t think about it too hard. Let’s be honest, watching the “sky people” launch cruiser missiles and drones across Pandora for two hours would have been crazy boring.

*And let’s not get started on the fact that they show no scenes of Jake Sulley ever talking to the Navi about the Unobtanium, and if there is, you know, maybe someway they could get the really important space rocks the Navi don’t give a damn about in some way where everyone would be happy. I mean, I just assume magic space rocks came up sometime in montages or backstory, but who knows, maybe he never said a bloody thing.

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Vegeta, What Does the Scouter Say About his Power Level?

Can you decode the secret message?

Can you decode the secret message?

As some of you may have noticed I was posting a lot yesterday about how happy I was with the traffic this blog was receiving on Friday, only to be totally be blown away by the traffic this blog received on Saturday. Needless to say I’m overjoyed with this result and in honor of my very first 1,000+ hits in a day I’ve decided something special needs to be done. Something more special than putting together a lame animated gif which shows how all of you completely squashed my traffic graph yesterday. So to decide exactly what that something special should be I’ve decided a poll should be opened to see what out of my collection of useless junk treasured items will be given out to one, or all, of you as a gift to say thank you for all the views. Here are the options for what the “gift” will be in detail, followed by a poll. The “gift” will be whichever item has the most votes by next Saturday.

Option 1: Youtube video of the interior of an X-men vs. Street Fighter arcade machine. It’s something I have in my possession, I’m probably going to be giving it to a family member soon, but while I still have it I can film it, and wouldn’t it just be dandy to see the inside of a particle board box with a 25″ Wells-Gardner monitor in it, a Capcom CPS2 board, and Happ controls and coin-mechanisms as far as the eye can see? Probably not, because these things aren’t exactly made to be pretty inside. But, if you’ve absolutely got to know, vote for this one.

Option 2: Upload of silly 33 second stop motion video I did back in the nineties. “Filmed” with a crummy digital camera, and put together in Paintshop Pro’s animation shop on a shiny state of the art computer with a 300Mhz AMD K6 processor and encoded in Intel Indeo codec. Wow your friends with your new found knowledge of just how bored a human being can get when stuck in a house in the middle of winter!

Option 3: Contest for one lucky winner to get this tiny Japanese Optimus Prime PVC collectible statue thingy on my desk. What does he look like? You don’t know! That’s half the fun! I will tell you he stands about four inches tall and is a statue, which means minimal posing, and is fairly chunky and he comes on a clear base. He’s definitely Optimus Prime but he’s some version I don’t recognize with a more samurai looking helmet and just some slightly different shapes to his parts overall to make him much more stylized. He also comes with complementary dust. I’ll pay for shipping this to anyone within the US. International shipping is possible depending on how much it is, but no promises.

Option 4: Contest for one lucky winner to receive Original Guitar Hero 1 Playstation 2 game with guitar. Hey, who likes old used and abused video games? Obviously you do if you picked this. If you’re not sure what this is, go google it. Last I time I checked this worked, but hey, who knows! This also comes with complimentary dust. Just like the Optimus Prime Statue I’ll pay for shipping this to anyone within the US. International shipping is possible depending on how much it is, but no promises.

Option 5: Contest for one lucky winner to receive a bunch of used socks! Oh joy! Do I really need to explain what socks are and what used means? Why would you pick this? I don’t know, but it seems to work for Carson Daly so let’s go with it. As with the other contests I’ll pay for shipping this to anyone within the US. International shipping is possible depending on how much it is, but no promises.

So those are the options for the absolute junk clogging my closet trove of treasures you have to pick form. You may choose all of the options that you would actually like to see, and the option that has the most votes after time is up will be the one that happens. Choose wisely.

Editor’s Note: In the case of a tie at the end of the voting period the tie will be broken by a random die roll.

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How Not to Respond to Good News

Statistics in graph may be smaller than they appear

Statistics in graph may be smaller than they appear

If for some reason you should goto dinner, especially if it was good and way too expensive for your income, and you should come back and your usage stats have magically gone up, as if shoe-making elves started working for Google, first do not panic. Above all else do not do a happy dance, as it will undoubtedly find its way onto Youtube. Do not proceed to then IM your friends and tell them how your (meager) traffic numbers have spiked all of a sudden, and most certainly do not post or blog about it, thus preserving evidence forever on the internet of yourself being a complete spaz. And finally, do not under any circumstances take a screenshot of your usage stats graph and write “w00t w00t” upon on it.  Especially not in red, crimson, scarlet, or any other shade thereof. Failure to heed these most dire warnings could lead to such unfortunate consequences as eternal ridicule, banishment from dance floors, or being forced to listen to stories about your friend’s cat. You have been warned.

(Thanks for all the views guys. It made my day.)

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